It’s pretty difficult to determine if your partner is cheating on you. There’s no science behind it, save for some predictable behavioural patterns associated with dishonesty.
Can you blame your partner for cheating on you? Of course you could, but it would be wrong to do so.
Is there a good reason why a cheater will almost always cheat again? You bet there is.
I was cheated on before
I recall one painful experience in my life where my partner cheated on me. It started out with a rumour and I didn’t want to believe it at first. Eventually, I confronted my partner about it, and she just sat there like one of the villains who got unmasked in an episode of Scooby Doo. Being the forgiving soul that I am, I forgave her. Three months later, I discovered that she was cheating again. I’ve had it by then, and I finally decided to leave her.
Why do people cheat?
According to some psychologists, there’s this phenomenon called “Cheater’s High” experienced by cheaters. This is a pleasurable experience that’s both addictive psychologically and emotionally. It’s like going sky-diving minus the diving and the parachute. It’s the thrill of it all, so to speak.
Getting away with DISHONESTY triggers a number of “built-in neurobiological rewards of excitement and arousal.” This concept applies to cheating partners and one rationalisation states that a cheater will almost always continue to cheat until he or she is caught.
Cheating is a victimless act, according to Robert Weiss, but like most addictions, those who’re addicted to the thrill eventually suffer a downward spiral. In other words, they’re bound to get caught sooner or later.
The lies and the tactics will eventually reach a point wherein it becomes uncontrollable and thus, people will get caught. The signs of cheating will present themselves in a very conspicuous pattern and it is only here when the cheating partner becomes too complacent.
Weiss’ study on cheating, however, does not focus on cheating as a sexual infidelity but more on cheating as an immoral act. When you’re affected by cheating–after getting cheated on or if you’re the one doing the cheating–it doesn’t mean that the problem will repeat itself.
Amidst the signs and the science, there is still an infinite number of reasons why someone will choose to cheat. Issues like self-control and being affected by situation-specific variables (former paramour coming back, long distance relationships, getting even, etc) can dictate the current state of your relationship.