“What I have joined together, no man can put asunder.”
These words came from God himself and demanded from every couple that they have to stay together until the day they turn back to dust. This is the main reason why people marry, to love each other until the end of their lives. But why is it that we get hurt by the people we love?
When Betrayal Sets In
This is being human of them. Our spouses can be tempted and they seek out attention from other people. This fact is inevitable in most marriages. But this is an obstacle that must be surpassed. This is one of the rocks in a marriage that needs to be dealt with. Divorce is not always the solution, if love still exists in a marriage. Betrayal can be break up two people but it can also be an opportunity to see that there is something wrong in your relationship and then find a way to fix it, together.
My Spouse Cheated on Me
You are not alone. This happens to approximately an appalling50% of marriages in the United States. The chances are that big. It can be a physical relationship or an emotional one. Either way, this is the issue.
Having been betrayed by your spouse is an experience beyond compare. It cannot be explained in words. But the feelings associated with it are intense. It hurts to the bone. Your head will keep on spinning. Your palms and foot soles will sweat. Your breathing will sometimes play tricks on you and you will suddenly get these anxiety attacks out of nowhere. You will lose your confidence and self-esteem. This is an effect of infidelity.
But everything in married life cannot be perfect. At times, life will throw us this hard ball in marriage. This is life.
Now, if you ask the question – can I give my marriage a second chance? The answer must always be YES. Here are the requisites for the YES:
1. If your wayward spouse wants to work it out and end the affair
2. If you are willing to accept your wayward spouse for what he or she has done and never punish him or her for that
3. If you can accept the fact that you were betrayed and need to move on from that, change for the better
The idea here is to reform and repair the marriage. If these three things are present, the marriage is not over yet. It needs a lot of work but as long as the husband and wife want to keep the relationship going, it is not the end. It will be very hard, with full of tears and hurts. As long as your previously wayward spouse is with you and you are keeping up with the deal – that’s what counts.
For further reading on if your marriage can be saved, I recommend Fool Me Once: Should I Take Back My Cheating Husband? (Surviving Infidelity, Advice From A Marriage Therapist Book 1) and After the Affair, Updated Second Edition: Healing the Pain and Rebuilding Trust When a Partner Has Been Unfaithful.