What Happens If You Stay with a Man Who Cheated on You
The moment you read the title, you probably had a vision of a scene from a soap opera where a woman stayed with an unfaithful man. Despite being a romantic cliché, some people actually stay with their cheating partners even after admitting that they cheated. Can we blame the victims for staying, or should we condone the partners for cheating?
Soap operas aside, what really happens if you stay with a man who cheated on you?
Wedding went on despite cheating
An article by Sarah Rusca narrated her experience with her then-fiance, who revealed that he had been unfaithful for the last four years of their relationship. Her then-fiance called her up one day and told her to come to his house because he needed to tell her something.
Worried that he might call off the wedding, Sarah rushed to her fiance’s house. There, he confessed to cheating and told her that he couldn’t marry her until she knew the truth. Sarah was devastated, but afraid of being embarrassed, she decided to get on with the wedding.
One year into their marriage, her husband cheated. She had expected things to get better, but it didn’t. Every act of cheating that her husband committed tore her soul apart and four years later, she gained the courage to leave the marriage.
You can read the rest of the story here.
Should you stay or should you go?
Sarah’s story is not something unheard of in all of my years as a counsellor. In fact, no more than three months ago, a client told me that his wife was having an affair. He told me that he had always known about his wife’s infidelity even before they were married.
I was perplexed. When I dug deeper, I found that his love for his wife ran deeper than expected.
In Sarah’s case, I think it had something to do with love and trust. We’re all humans, and Sarah’s fiancé/husband is just as human as we all are. Sarah held on to the belief that her husband could still change. This was her being hopeful because she loved him and deep down, she knew that he still loved her even if it meant that he didn’t love her the same way she did.
Staying with a person who cheated on you can have devastating results, including the development of self-esteem and self-confidence issues. For married couples, I highly suggest going through couples’ counselling to sort out your marital problems.