I’m not so much for using the word “PREDICTION” as it can be vague and often misconstrued as something that was supposed to happen. As a counsellor, I don’t believe in predicting marriages that are headed for divorce. That’s just too mean, I guess.
However, there are signs that can tell you if your marriage is headed for divorce.
Things that predict you’re headed for divorce
According to Dr. John Gottman, the first step to enhancing one’s marriage is to identify and understand what happens when relationships fail. In his extensive research on failed marriages, he believes that learning from failures can prevent your relationship from making the same one – or even rescue it.
An article written by Michael Fulwiler, entitled “The 6 Things that Predict Divorce”, shares the 6 things that predict divorce – listed by Dr. John Gottman.
One of the six things that predicts divorce is what he calls a “harsh start-up”, or a marriage is not supposed to begin the way it was supposed to. It also involves dealing with conflict and starting out with the wrong approach to begin with. For example, if a discussion started out with the wrong tone or started out with sarcasm and criticism, it’s already begun with a “harsh start-up” and the conflict will usually end on a negative note.
Gottman’s statistics show that 96% of the time, you can tell the outcome of the conversation by listening to the first three minutes of the interaction.
You can read more about the article here.
So, can we really predict if we’re headed for divorce based on these signs?
The study and article delved into the predictable signs that could lead to a failed marriage and I think that what Dr Gottman created is astounding for a number of reasons.
First, it actually helps couples who are dealing with a troubled marriage to identify what’s creating conflict in their marriage.
Second, it also helps couples establish a baseline for dealing with conflicts and how they can go around solving it.
Third, it allows couples to identify the various points of conflict that would contribute to a failing marriage.