Love can be complicated because it’s a two-way street. The reciprocity needs to exist. For one to love, he or she needs to be loved. After all, how can one give what one doesn’t receive? Unrequited love becomes a painful experience because it hinders us from receiving love despite giving our partner the love that they deserve.
When I listened to my friend talk about his experience, I found myself reflecting on a question:What’s to prevent me or anyone from falling into another trap that is unrequited love if I don’t have anything to take away from the previous experience? It hurts when we fall prey to unrequited love, and to be blunt about it, it sucks. However, it doesn’t mean that you can’t walk away from it without taking a few lessons with you.
A story of unrequited love
A friend of mine shared his experience with unrequited love a couple of years ago and looking back, I deduced a few lessons. This is his story.
“I met her in a coffee shop. You know those moments where time just stops when you know you’ve met someone who’s captured your heart in an instant? It happened to me. Far from my Beta-male personality, I stood up and introduced myself to her. She smiled at me and gave me her name and number. I thought everything was good the moment I received her number, but I was wrong. Two weeks passed and I found myself chasing after a girl who’s uninterested in me. I was in complete denial. I tried to play the PATIENCE card, thinking it was going to be worth the wait.
I have never been so wrong all my life.”
Unrequited love is as simple as having a partner who does not love you.
Unrequited love is an emotional rollercoaster
The first lesson that I learned is that the chase for unrequited love is an emotional rollercoaster that needs to be rode on only once. It eats at you every night, knowing that you can never have someone who’ll love you just as much as you did her or him.
Unrequited love is empty
Love is beautiful, but unrequited love is empty. Love is the most beautiful emotion in the world yet it can be painful. My friend, brave as he was, accepted the fact that she would never love him as much as he did and it cut him like a knife. It was painful. He needed to let go.
Unrequited love will never be your fault
It’s not your choice to not be loved, okay? The fact of the matter is, you can never even hate the person for not loving you. It’s not your fault. You just need to remind yourself of that. It was not your fault and it will never be your fault.
Unrequited love enhances the value of unconditional love
There’s just something positive about unrequited love: it is unconditional love. We love someone without having to require them to love us back. Unconditional love is the purest form of love that one can give and receive. Unrequited love shows your capacity for unconditional love.
Unrequited love shows you what real love is
It’s easy to fall victim to infatuation or succumbing to the butterflies in your stomach, but when unrequited love comes in, it teaches you how to avoid just that. You’re never going to find out what real love is unless you go through unrequited love and only then will you be able to move forward.
Unrequited love becomes a memory
The thing about unrequited love is that the pain does not last. It makes you stronger as you move on. Looking back at my friend’s experience and comparing it to where he is now (he is now married to a beautiful woman and they have two wonderful children). Not once has he brought up his experience about unrequited love whenever I ask him about how he was. He’s pushed it to the back of his mind and left it there as nothing more than a memory and a reminder.
Unrequited love is painful and beautiful. It’s two-sides of the same coin: LOVE. When you’re faced with unrequited love, it’s best to move forward and just learn from its lessons. No one really knows for certain if what one is going through right now is unrequited love and we just have to be ready for it.