It’s amazing how people react when they find out that their spouse or partner has been cheating on them. It just goes to show what our mind and emotions go through when experiencing something as difficult and traumatising as being cheated on. So how do we go about our reaction when we discover that our partner has been unfaithful to us?
Should we start firing away questions like “What’s wrong with me?” or “Why did it end up like this?” or even “Do I have an STD?”, or worse, “Will I get divorced?”
Here’s how not to react when you find out your spouse cheats.
Do not get revenge
Revenge is almost always the first thing that goes through your mind when you’ve been cheated on, but let me ask you this: what are you trying to get out of it? If you’re thinking about starting an affair with someone so you can have your revenge, let me tell you straight up that all you’ll manage to achieve with that is stooping to your cheating spouse’s level.
Don’t make any big life decisions
When people find out that their spouse had an affair, they often resort to making the biggest life decisions during this critically troubled time. At this point, you don’t even really understand what you’re feeling towards your partner, yourself, and even other people. Anger clouds judgment and being angry while making big life decisions can often go awry. It’s best to cool your head off for a bit before you do something huge like moving to another city with the kids or, in some cases, buying a new and expensive car.
Don’t tell everyone
Don’t go rushing to your social media account and post that you’ve been cheated on. This is not a good way to reach out for emotional support in this traumatising time of your life. Choose the best people who you think will help you deal with the event, like your parents or best friends. Don’t tell your spouse’s boss or friends (chances are, they already knew about it way before you did). Remember, if you’re going to reach out to someone, seek help and not attention.
Don’t forgive right away
Give yourself time to heal. Forgiveness is considered a big life decision and keep in mind that you should not be making any major life decisions during this emotional time of your life. Forgiveness at this point will only look like a Band-Aid for a very serious gunshot wound. Talk to your spouse and address what needs to be addressed in your relationship.
Getting cheated on is not easy, but always keep in mind that the situation will be better-handled when you refrain from doing the things listed above.