Most victims of cheating partners will ask the“Why” questions to their spouses before they ask themselveson the reverse. It is but normal to wonder why the affair took place, hence, the asking of questions upon shock of knowing what happened. These are the top most probable questions – valid ones – from least to topmost, that betrayed spouses ask their cheating spouse:
1. “Why did you do this to me, to us? “
Cheating spouses will always say that it was an accident. Wayward spouses will reason out: it just happened. But everyone has free will and the affair did not just happen on its own without choice. An affair beginning to bloom into damage can be stopped on its track.
2. “Why did you let it go on when you knew it was wrong in the first place? “
Asking your spouse this question makes him or her realize only one thing, that your spouse allowed his mistake to be covered by another mistake. It is just one messed up scenario. One does become guilty after the first time they did the wrongdoing. But to most cheaters, they cover guilt feelings by vindicating it: what my spouse does not know, will not hurt.
3. “Did you ever think of me at all when you were together and intimate?
Your partner’s internal values are often shaken. Although feeling guilty does not mean the accused will never do the mistake again, most feel disgusted after the first sexual contact. And yet, they do it over and over again. It is an expression of self-anger.
Do I Leave or Do I Stay?
As they say, you can never correct a mistake unless it is written on paper and pen. One of the first dilemmas in the case of a betrayed spouse is whether to leave the cheating partner or stay for the marriage sake. The decisions one can make is as life changing as the marriage itself.
Here are 5helpful questions as whether you must leave your cheating spouse or not:
1. Is your cheating spouse remorseful and want to make amends with you?
2. Is the affair over?
3. Is your spouse willing to work outthe problems and will try everything to save the marriage?
4. Is your spouse amenable to marriage counselling?
5. Most importantly, is your spouse vocal about how much you mean to him or her? Does your spouse say: I Love You?
Answering “yes” to these questions mean that there is a chance. Will love the second time around ever be possible? Of course it is. Your union was based on love, in the first place. It is a union witnessed and sealed by God. Unlike an affair, which started in a dishonest and lustful manner, marriage is full of love when entered into.
Marriage – Is it worth Saving?
Saving your marriage after an affair is less hurting than resorting to divorce or separation. You may take other people’s advice whether they are for or against divorce. But the decision lies with you. It will always be your last say.
Forgiveness is better than retaliation. If love is still there, divorce must be kicked to the curb. If the husband and wife agree to patch up, then, the next thing to discuss is how to heal together.