It seems not too long ago when you and your partner exchanged vows and promised that you will love each other faithfully. And now, you have every reason and proof to believe that your husband or wife has cheated on you. Since it has already happened and there is nothing you can do to change it, it is important to focus on the next step. If you are at a loss on what to do after you found out your spouse has been unfaithful, consider doing the following.
Understand the Situation
This event in your married life is best treated as a wake-up call to find out what is wrong in your relationship. Reflect on how you possibly contributed to the situation. Have a serious talk with your spouse on what led him or her to be unfaithful. Understanding the reason behind it can lead you on the path towards acceptance and forgiveness.
Let the Tears Out
There is no doubt that this event can be very stressful and painful, and letting the tears out can be one way to cope. Not everybody likes to cry out the pain, but if you feel really down and sad, do not prevent yourself from doing so. Crying in such situations can help relieve you of unpleasant memories. You will feel better after a healthy dose of crying.
While the hurt and pain can follow you wherever you go, do not let it. More importantly, do not let your own self go; continue to take care of your health and appearance. Go to a spa, improve your diet, continue doing exercises regularly, drink lots of water and get enough sleep. Watch comedy movies for you to laugh the pain away—it is true that laughter can help you through this situation. All these will help you be more relaxed and make it easier for you to let go of the anxiety and tension.
Do not be afraid to reach out, especially to professional counselors or therapists. They can be better equipped to help you go through this event. With their assistance, you can look at things objectively and determine the practical steps to do next.
After looking at the situation more objectively, you can decide whether you will want to stay married or not. If you intend to stay married, be safe and practical—get yourselves tested for any diseases before getting intimate again. If you want to let go of your partner, ask for legal advice from a professional. If you have children, the situation can be more complex because you have to consider how the kids are going to take it.
Acting out of impulse can do more harm than good. You are more likely to hurt yourself and your partner when you have mixed feelings of anger, frustration and anxiety troubling you. Do not let your emotions get the better of you when you find out your spouse has been unfaithful. Remember that no matter how painful this situation can be, you can start over in time.